dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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