Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
PANTIES FOUND
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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