Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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