I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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