p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
