And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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