Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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