Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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