I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
