Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
