Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
