wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
