I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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