I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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