As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
