but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
