Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
