Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
