I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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