Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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