Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
