You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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