Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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