I must be too annoying 4 u.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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