Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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