I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
