I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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