I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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