we're blogging at a bar
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
