I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
