I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize