I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?