I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos