how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(