sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize