if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
