No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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