I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
