Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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