i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
