glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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