check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
