I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize