Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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