Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
