Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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