Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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