went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
