I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
