Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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