dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
