Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
