I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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