People with herpes should wear stickers.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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