I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
