I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
