Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
