can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize