Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
