I feel great
I just peed on a car
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
