somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
That accounts for only three of the penises
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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