Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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