Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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