I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
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You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
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she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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