i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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